I was in a complete peace of mind for about two month. I was happy and nothing bothered me, even at work. When college started, something started to happen and i lost it. Ever since i tried to figure out why my old way of being returned to torture me. I started feeling insecure about myself again, unacceptive of my situation, not loving myself, complaining about everything, not setting my priorities right, waisting time online, not getting a job, spending too much money. Worst of all when i had a peace of mind i complained even though it was the greatest blessing one can have.
Maybe i had peace of mind for so long that i started taking it for granted, forgetting the amount of work i had to do to get there. I stopped praying, doing gratefulness exercise, mindfulness exercise, not-self exercise, loving kindness meditation, insight meditation, nonjudgmental attitude exercise, positive thinking exercise.
Had i become one of those people whom learn and learn about all the things to make one healthy but never put them to use? Indeed it is foolish.
It is time to go over the things i am grateful and love myself for who i am! I like the now whatever shape it takes! No more criticizing or judging myself or others or the now!
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